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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?